Linger long enough outside my front door and you will hear a chorus that repeats nearly ad nauseam, “Bella!! Bellllll-laaaa!” A variation on the theme: “Little Bella Bad Girl”, typically followed by smooching sounds and a meow that says, “Put me down, you clod!” She is adorable, and an absolute terror. The more I ponder her personality, the more I realize that we have a traitor in the household; Bella simply must be a Republican. Allow me to expound.
For one thing, she’s a bully. She will stop at nothing to get what she wants. She has an arsenal of weapons she can employ to achiever her aims, and she will use every single one of them. If she has to she’ll strong arm you in order to get that prime real estate inside the cardboard box. She will hiss, spit, growl and downright get all up in your face, just to claim the spot for herself.
She knows how to use those Photo-Ops to her advantage. She will park her skinny little butt right at my feet, look up at me adoringly, and blink. Anybody who has a cat or dog or bird or precocious child or guilty lover knows that blink. It says, “Oh, I know you’re mad but look at how adorable I am. You know you love me… come on, give over… you love me!” Blink blink blink. She is always perfectly situated to present herself in the best possible light, even with the milk dripping from her chin and the scent of your salmon dinner wafting on her breath.
She’s got Persistence; a determination that can’t be rivaled. Like a freight train blowing through the stops, she is uncontrollable, headstrong and careless. If a few people get smashed along the way, well, it’s all for the good of… Bella. When there’s a can of cat food being opened anywhere in the house (no amount of loud coughing or yelling can disguise that sound, sorry), she comes barreling in at full tilt. She’s like an Eveready Bunny when the commercial’s on. She’s like a wasp to a can of Cream Soda. No matter how many times you swat at her to get down off the counter she comes right back again. Persistent like Nixon’s flabby jowl, Cheney’s beady eyes, or Romney’s stellar smile; she will not be deterred. Paul Ryan’s economic plan ain’t got nothin’ on Bella’s belief that she deserves it all, and she’ll get there first no matter what.
There is one very significant redeeming quality that she possesses, of course. When I talk about audacity to Bella, she doesn’t hiss or turn away, she still loves me. She doesn’t feel she has to make the switch to tea, she’ll stick with plain old milk, thank you. She still loves me even though our views on the house rules differ. She knows that if I disagree strongly enough all she has to do is what she does best. Blink blink blink.